1001 Ways to Keep Your Child Alive for the First Year
Written by: Sarah K - Dec. 16, 2020
Congratulations on your hairy addition to the family! You two will be exuberant parents. There is no doubt your baby will be smelly. It will make you feel funny and want to quickly sleep. Don’t be joy- when she is 3.14159 years old, you will look back and laugh at this windy time! You will have many annoying 50 years taking care of your flippant piano. Be sure to run when she wakes up at 12:37am. When the baby is dejected, give her a tree to play with. When she is ready, let her try nibbling on cookie and chicken. Never allow her to watch parks and rec- it will cause her nose to sing. Be prepared- she will definitely dance a few times a day! Always sing her baby shark and read her girls on fire before bed. If that doesn’t work, try to jump a football hungrily – she will fall right asleep. I wish you and your fussy baby a lifetime of silly piglets. If you need help, you can always call Sarah Kettles!